


No Rest for the Weary

by greyone01



Series: The Book of DameRey [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: DameRey, F/M, Fluff and Angst, JediPilot, New Year's Eve, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, flangst, poe x rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 21:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyone01/pseuds/greyone01
Summary: Post-Crait. Poe is away from home for yet another New Year's Eve. Rey's first New Year's Eve away from Jakku.





	No Rest for the Weary

**Author's Note:**

> The Star Wars universe celebrating New Year's Eve -- totally made up by me.

Commander Poe Dameron silently slipped out of the hangar, welcoming the soft breeze of the cool night air as he stepped out into the semi-darkness. New Year’s Eve celebrations were still in full swing inside the hangar, with midnight still hours away. It was fun, and he really had a wonderful time at the party, but he could only mingle for so long. It just wasn’t the same without his squadron, who were still deployed on a mission somewhere in the galaxy.

He knew a couple of fighters had gathered around a campfire in the early evening, electing to start their celebrations outdoors. They were in a subtropical planet now, where evenings are cool and the night sky clear. Poe could see the flickering fire, and while he had initially intended to wait for the new year in solitude under the stars, he decided at the spur of the moment to check out how the campfire was going.

“I’m afraid you’re a bit too late, Commander,” a sergeant named Rohan, said apologetically as Poe approached the site. There was only a pair of fighters left, and they were obviously just about to head in, or perhaps they were off for a more private celebration.

Poe smiled wryly. His original plan was going to happen after all. “That’s all right, Sergeant,” Poe said. “Don’t worry about the fire – I’ll see to it before I head back in.” He spied a guitar left on the ground, a couple of meters away from the fire. “Whose is that?”

“Kriff, that’s Jeb’s,” the sergeant replied, moving to grab the guitar, but Poe stopped him. 

“Do you think he’d mind if I borrow it for a while? I’ll bring it back to the rec room later.”

The sergeant shrugged. “Go for it, sir, I know he won’t be using it tonight.”

“Happy New Year, guys,” Poe called as Rohan and his partner walked away, arms slung around each other’s shoulders. Rohan raised a free hand to return the greeting as his partner called back, “Happy New Year, Commander!”

Poe turned to the fire, grabbed a couple of firewood from the pile of tinder and fed them to the fire. Once satisfied that the fire will burn heartily for a while longer, he got the guitar and settled on the ground, his back resting on one of the large logs scattered around the fire. Lazily, he strummed the guitar, his eyes watching the fire dance a few meters away. He let his mind wander to thoughts of his father Kes, in a world not unlike where he was at the moment, spending yet another New Year’s Eve on his own. Poe felt a wave of guilt and homesickness – his dad was not getting any younger, and Poe had long since accepted that military pilots have abnormally short life expectancies. He doesn’t get to visit his father often enough, and every year, he puts extra effort to try to at least welcome the new year with his dad. Unfortunately, with the Resistance seeming to be on its last legs since Crait, and with his actions against the First Order earning him a bounty on his head, going home was simply not an option this year.

And so he strummed the old guitar, absentmindedly humming to himself, distracted by thoughts of home and his father. It was only when the fire started looking blurry that he realized that he was crying, his yearning for the most important man in his life so great it made his chest hurt. How long he sat there doing that, he did not know, lost in thought of memories of past New Year’s Eves. He did not even notice his faithful droid approach and settle not far from him. Neither did he notice the approach of another lonely soul.

She left the party when it started to feel too overwhelming for her. She had given Finn a small wave when she saw him start to slink away, his arm casually slung on Rose’s shoulder. There was understanding in his eyes when their gazes met, Finn well aware of how Rey’s solitary nature often drove her away from prolonged participation in big gatherings like this. Despite having been embraced by the Resistance for almost a year now, Rey still only had a handful of friends. Partly because most were intimidated by her, but largely because her hard solitary life made her feel uneasy around groups of people.

She saw a familiar orange and white spherical droid start rolling towards what looked like campfire. She was drawn to the droid right away, knowing it was likely going to lead her to him. As the sound of the drums from party become more and more distant, a different kind of music reached her ears. It was something she had never heard before, and the magical quality of the sound spurred her to move closer to the source. As she approached the camp site, it became evident where the source of the sound was.

Poe Dameron, Resistance pilot, BB-8’s human, and one of Rey’s favorite persons, was lounging on the ground, leaning back against a big log with his legs stretched before him. He was holding some strange-looking wooden contraption, and as Rey came closer, she realized that he was creating music with the strum of his hand. He looked lost in his thoughts, eyes half-closed, not noticing BB-8 as he rolled to a stop about two feet away from him, or Rey even as she moved closer. She continued to approach until she was close enough to see the tears from his eyes and hear his soft hum. Rey stood still, transfixed, letting the music envelope her. Eventually, she closed her eyes and reached out to him through the Force.

His Force-signature had always been warm and golden, but tonight, while it remained warm, it was decidedly muted. She gave the slightest of nudges through the Force, just enough for him to snap out of his trance without startling him.

“How long have you been standing there?” Poe asked, his voice sounding a bit gravelly. He cleared his throat and stopped strumming, hastily wiping his tears away with his hand. 

“Long enough,” Rey replied, hoping he wouldn’t send her away. “That was beautiful.” BB-8 beeped in agreement, earning him a quick pat on the belly from his master.

Poe gave her a small smile. “Thanks, but honestly, I don’t even know what I was playing.” He nodded to the direction of the hangar. “Finding it a bit too much?”

Rey nodded, knowing he understood as well as Finn did about her and crowds. She looked pointedly to the space beside him. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“’Course not,” he replied easily. “I’m not much of a good company at the moment, though.” 

“Are you okay?”

He nodded but said nothing. He began to strum again as she settled beside him, copying the way he was seated. Instead of staring at the fire though, she rested her head on the log and looked at the night sky. For Force-knows how long, she watched the stars as he softly hummed while strumming the guitar. BB-8 silently parked himself on his other side, moving only occasionally to add more firewood, using his retractable claw, to keep the fire going.

“This is the first time I celebrated New Year’s Eve,” Rey finally spoke up. “Or at least tried to.”

“You don’t have to be in a party to celebrate it,” Poe replied kindly. “I used to just stay up with my parents until midnight comes, and after Mom died, Dad and I just carried on with the tradition until I went on active duty. Even then, I usually will try to go home and spend it with him whenever possible.”

Rey tore her eyes away from the sky and looked at him. He was still strumming a gentle melody, the fire casting a golden light to his features. His face was wistful when he turned to look at her. “It’s just too risky at the moment for me to be with Dad.”

“When did you last see him?”

“In person? Just before I went to Jakku,” Poe replied. “We’ve holo’d a couple of times since then, and I’ll call him again in a few days.”

“Why not tonight?” Rey queried. It was obvious that Poe was absolutely missing his father, and a holo could certainly help.

“Too risky,” he explained. “Might get traced.” He sighed. “Sorry, Rey. I did warn you I’m not good company right now.”

“This is already a thousand times better than my other New Year’s Eves,” Rey reassured him. “I used to absolutely hate this night.”

Poe stopped strumming and set the guitar down. He turned to look at her, an eye brow raised in a wordless query. She looked away from him and focused on the fire. “New Year’s Eve meant another year had gone by without my family coming back for me. Every single year, I try to convince myself to stop thinking that, and instead look into the coming year with hope, but it just got harder and harder each year.” She tore her eyes away from the fire and looked at him timidly. “At least tonight I’m alone.”

“Kriff, Rey, I’m so sorry,” Poe said softly, feeling intensely guilty for how self-centered his ramblings were. He was reminded again of how different their pasts were.

Rey laid a hand on his knee. “Don’t be, there’s nothing you should be sorry about.” 

Silence settled between them. Poe scuttled down a bit, following her suit, rested his head onto the log. They were sitting close enough for their shoulders to touch, but neither stirred to move away. The stars twinkled brightly against the inky black night sky. Rey was comfortable with silence, usually it was Poe who found it hard to not to talk to anyone in his company. Tonight, though, he was not in his usual talkative mood, grateful that he was not with somebody expecting any conversation with him. Right now, he just felt down, seemingly unable to shake the sadness that gripped him.

He was so still and quiet that Rey thought he might have fallen asleep. She turned her head slightly to his direction, and saw that his eyes were open, fixed on the stars that quietly stared back at them. She felt his sadness, not really surprised that it made her want to hold him. Poe had that effect on her. When he’s happy and excited, she feels his joy and it makes her want to hug him. When he’s upset and angry, she feels his intensity and it makes her want to put her arms around him to calm him down. When he’s anxious, she feels his restlessness and it makes her want to embrace him until he settles down. Then there are those random odd feelings that come up at random times, when he looks at her and makes her feel warm and giddy, and it makes her want to pull him close.

Maybe it was his shoulder against hers, but at that moment, Rey felt an almost overwhelming groundswell of vulnerability from him. She had never felt something this strong from him, and she battled with every fiber of her being from pulling him in her arms. It was quite disconcerting, something so totally un-Poe.

“I’m tired of fighting.” His lips barely moved, his words barely audible. Rey didn’t know what to say. Before she could stop herself, she found her hand grasping his. This seemed to prompt him to continue, but he kept his eyes on the stars above them. “I’m tired of fighting, Rey,” he repeated, a bit louder this time. “It’s becoming to seem pointless. We manage to land a punch, they knock us back with two punches. I’ve lost count of the number of casualties. I used to think that we could never lose, not when the cause we’re fighting for is so noble, because I figured if we become loud enough, visible enough, then eventually the entire galaxy will join our side. It never occurred to me that they’d be so good in twisting our message and squashing us down that we’d be gone before that even happened.”

“If we give up now, then they’ve already won,” Rey pointed out gently.

“Maybe that’s what’s going to happen anyway,” Poe shrugged. Still grasping her hand, he used ran his other hand through his hair in frustration. “Kriff, all I really want right now is a quiet life, away from the fighting.”

“But you’re still here.”

“Yeah, I am,” he said bitterly. “Still here, and I don’t know why. I’ve been in this for almost two decades, and I’m none the wiser. Got nothing to show for it but battle scars. In retrospect, I seriously doubt we’ve done anything to make a difference.”

She gave him a gentle nudge with her shoulder. “But you have. To me, at least.” This made Poe turn to look at her. “Back in Jakku, you could’ve ran away with BB-8 when the First Order came. Stuck to your mission and make sure that the map gets back to the Resistance. But you stayed behind to help those villagers, even when you didn’t have to. If you haven’t done that, I wouldn’t have needed to rescue BB-8 from Teedo, and if that hadn’t happen, I wouldn’t have been forced to flee with him and Finn, and I’d still be stuck there today.” 

Rey moved as if she was going to nudge him again, but then he felt her rest her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a while, just looking at the stars. Then she said softly, “I’m really grateful for that, you know? That decision, it cost you a lot. You were tortured and almost died, but it was that decision that saved me, so if you ever doubt if anything you did made any difference to anyone, just think of how it saved me.”

He moved to sit a bit straighter, making her raise her head from his shoulder. He moved his arm so that it rested on her shoulders. She seemed to appreciate the gesture and tucked herself closer to his side, laying her head back on his shoulder. Her words made his melancholy begin to slip away as he thought that maybe, this was why he had to be there tonight. He had always felt a wave of protectiveness for Rey, and while he couldn’t do anything about her past, he can certainly do something about the now and the future. To hear that from her now, he realized he would willingly go through the torture again if it meant giving her a chance for a better life. Poe couldn’t help but tighten his arm around her with that realization. Again, he felt a wave of protectiveness for her, but this time, with the now familiar odd feeling of being pulled towards her. “You won’t ever have to live like that again, not for as long as I’m around,” he promised her. 

That feeling. It was a strange feeling, but certainly far from unpleasant. Even if neither said it, they both knew. They’re in this together now, and both dared to hope that this is how it will be from that point on. They sat in silence, listening to the snap and crackle of the fire and the distant beat of drums from the party. She felt an odd feeling of belonging, as well as certainty that she could take on whatever the future brings for as long as she has him to come back to. She lifted her head up to look at him, and when his eyes met hers, she could see he felt the same way. He wanted to belong to her as much as she wanted to belong to him.

Poe felt the charge in the air the moment their gazes locked. He angled his body towards hers, his face drifting closer to hers, and she made no move to pull away. He broke eye contact only to close his eyes as his lips captured hers in a gentle kiss. The kiss felt so right, a hundred and one percent right, and he felt her reach for him as he started to pull back. He continued to pull back and opened his eyes, looking at her face for any sign of uncertainty – he needed to know she was all right with this. Her hand caressed his cheek lovingly, and that was all the encouragement he needed. His mouth was back on hers in no time, this time infusing more passion in the kiss. The kiss continued to deepen as the year came to a close, leaving the two battle-worn fighters with renewed strength to carry on with the fight.

“Happy New Year, Rey,” Poe murmured when they finally broke apart. He continued to hold her close, his body half-covering hers.

“Happy New Year, Poe,” Rey sighed, returning his embrace. She closed her eyes and silently thanking the universe for bringing them together. She also prayed fervently for the same forces to never tear them apart. She sighed again, content and happy, liking the way their bodies were pressed close together like this. When she looks in his eyes again, she found that their familiar twinkle was back. She smiled and murmured just before his lips found hers again, “You’re not such a bad company tonight, after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just learned today that I won't be spending the holidays at home -- I won't be able to go home until late January. That also meant missing my dad's birthday (early January). Then I'd have to work with an almost-new team (me and one other member are all that's left of the old team). So, like Poe, I'm feeling the weariness and wondering why I'm still in this fight.


End file.
